Zachary Cohen proffers a suggestion for a much needed new social employment position, the Social Media Slave. Ouch Zach! Who wants that job now? That's not a particularly attractive job posting. But, will it work in the real world?

My friend Zachary Cohen isn't one for niceties in social observance. He much prefers the gotcha headline styling of terse online meme. What can you expect from someone that cut his teeth in 140 characters? It's going to be punchy! He refuses to violate the one rule of advertising: don't bore your audience. He obeys that rule, even if it means he must offend.

Unfortunately, Zachary is a great example of a good social networker (social marketeer, social hacker, social media player, etc.). He's a terrible example of classical corporate spokesperson gone internet. I have no doubt you can pay Zachary to present the face you want presented. But, if you want his whit, charm, disgust appeal, you're going to pay both with money and risk. There's significant risk to adopting a Zachary Cohen or even a Robert Scoble (inside baseball reference, if you don't know about tech evangelists) to represent your company as a corporate spokesperson. As an example, Robert Scoble publicly vents about his blog getting hacked. Yet, he fails to weigh the risks of an unsophisticated audience translating that into fear about his biggest client: RackSpace.com and public concern (warning, profanity and ranting at that link) over their security problems. A more sage spokesperson may abstain from publicly announcing his security weaknesses, or have a team of top notch security folks watch his blog to make sure such a vulnerability don't jeopardize his biggest client's public image.

So, how does one present the safe corporate image, maintain a social standing and avoid rogue social agents placing their brand at risk?

Zachary suggests the solution may be a new social slave, or as I prefer to call them (because I kind of am one of those tone sensitive types) Social Surrogates.

Filter off:

It's for the corporately impotent. I don't mean impotent at corporate - because that's a skill of its own. But, because of their corporate attitude they won't ever be real people woven into the fabric of online society. I think of them as the T-rex of modernity. If T-rex were here, he'd still be a force in nature. But, he wouldn't be as nible or as dangerous as the human. He'd just still have weight, height, speed and big teeth advantage. Once the underpowered human found gun powder, T-rex would cease to be a creature of awesome fear and instantly would become big game.

So, what am I saying? A bonafide corporate agent is going to basically be an online copywriter, like a traditional ad agency with online cred. But, how much online cred can one get for towing the company line? This is the real rub. There's no doubt that corporate types can hire surrogates to do their bidding. It's a good idea. Pay more, and you can pick off some amazingly talented copywriters. Give them a little room and some time to learn your trade -- maybe even interact with customers a bit -- and you could have a powerful voice in online space. However, it is the gritty independence of the real person that attracts massive audiences.